The Triumph

Recalling the incident has never been less painful. Yet Gautam never ceased doing the same. Every night as he reached the quiet of his home the conversation would start all over again. It was almost as if his mind dictated him, subconsciously.  Maybe the quiet of his room was a trigger.

Gautam had often been told by his friends to move in with someone else. Staying alone does not work for everyone. But he was too indignant to admit that he was not brave enough to fight his demons, alone. He had a point to prove. He could very well do it, alone.

This evening was no different. It was as quiet as ever. But today Gautam was prepared. He would sleep well today and not linger on the fringes of madness that he had been, for almost six months. Six months since things had changed… since the world suddenly turned surprising quiet and yet noisy. He would not feel the pain today.

He waited. He would not let her walk in again. Walk into his dreams and bleed his peace out. He was sleep deprived but he would not attempt to lie down. Not yet. He would not switch off the light. But that seem to have increased the temperature in the room. He thought maybe the window would be a good place to sit. Cooler air…

The lane in the building could be seen from his window. In the quiet of the night there were these occasional auto-rickshaws that made in the complex to drop off late night workers. She had left in one of those rickshaws the day it was over between them. She had rushed out leaving him fuming. She was as livid.

Gautam wondered if her attitude affected the rickshaw driver too. He could never understand how the driver may have rammed into that truck, in such a speed. Maybe the driver was looking for his own settlement. Maybe she had shouted at him too, like she did with him. She had left him almost with a challenge. A challenge he would kill himself to win.

He had to stay alone. He could not give in. He would not give in, not before life spurted out of his veins. He was ready today. He would not be scared anymore. He did not wish he could have stopped her. He had other wishes though… he thoughts lingered over the plans that two had made.

And they he saw her again. She looked at him angry, the laughed… and then cried. “You can’t make it. You are going to lose this,” she said. Gautam snapped out of the slumber. He was sweating. The promise of cooler air did not quite deliver. But he had no such chances… he had to deliver. He refused to lose.

The morning sun was not any different. But night was when Gautam played his trump card. That small blade did it. He was prepared after all. Prepared to do whatever it takes… to win. To win the challenge that he could stay along, till death did him in.