The 'First Love' syndrome!


A friend of mine is in love. His first love! And he is in pain. Rough patches… I personally see no future in his story. But for him, this is it. He says, “Pyaar ek hi baar hota hai.. sacha pyaar”. I can’t help smiling. I know where he is coming from… I just tell him, “Happens… you will know better in good time!” He gives me a look and our conversation is over. Oh, I have been through this too. The 'first love' syndrome!

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Eight years back… I was just into my second year of graduation, and probably fourth month into my first ‘love’ story! I was busy making plans for my visit home. As a student I travelled by train and that meant I had to book the tickets well in advance to be able to get a ticket. And this time I was planning my winter vacation earlier than the last time. Not around Christmas… but at least 10 days before that.

SURPRISE!
All planned except the ticket, I was sitting by the steps on my college blocks when my senior joined me. As we spoke I happened to share with him how I am looking forward to being in Guwahati by December 15. When I told him I wanted to surprise ‘her’ as it was her birthday he could not stop smiling. After grinning ear to ear for sometime he finally asked me, “Is this your first love?” I replied in positive. He patted my back and said, “I understand. We have all been through that. Don’t worry, you will know better in some years, or let’s say some relationships later.” I shrugged off. Back then ‘she’ was the one, no one else would replace her. And this was to be the lifelong relationship. Quite filmy I suppose… but what do you expect from a Bollywood buff! The senior walked away with an ‘I know all about this’ smile, leaving me more resolute that I am going to make that relationship sustain for my life. And that should not have been tough…

Two months from then as the date of journey came closer my parents desperately tried to cancel my visit. Reason: Assamese-Bihari clashes were at heights and any train passing through Bihar was not safe. Things had gone bad when a Naga girl was raped in a Delhi bound train by some Bihari youth who were retaliating to some of their friends being assaulted in Guwahati when these guys went to appear for railway exams. And now some rogues in Bihar were attacking just about every Assam-bound train. I was least concerned. I was certain that I had to reach Guwahati by the birthday. And I was willing to risk an attack… mar bhi jaaye pyaarwaale, mit bhi jaaye yaarwale, zinda rehti hai unki mohabbatein! With the lean frame of my body back then (or trust me… I used to be lean too) I was all set to fight goons, if required, to reach my destination.


No such drama happened. The train had to pass through just two stations in Bihar and that was quick. I was safe and I reached my city. Only know that my heart was to be crushed… on the BIG day! ‘She’ had suddenly realized it was all an infatuation and would not want to meet me, leave alone wear that bracelet that I had managed to buy for her. (Well frankly… it was my elder sister who paid for it!).

There I was… left alone. The world fell on me. Heart crushed…no sounds, just tears all night long, for almost a month. Sigh! I was still hopeful that she would come back.

Fact 1 - She did not return. Rather she fell for someone else.
Fact2 – Oh! I fell for someone too. And soon someone else again… and again!

Eight years from then, as I look back… I do not grieve the fact that my first love story did not turn my only. But I do celebrate the fact that I had my share of love stories… If you ask me, each break up was responsible for the growth in me as a person.  And while some really believe that I am bordering on to insanity, I believe today I know what I need better, than I did eight years back.

--

The few days back it was the birthday of my first girlfriend and that also happens to be my ‘first break-up’ day.  There are rarely better days that could portray the change in me as a person over the years.  Reactions to that message were hilarious but they only made me believe one thing… Change, sometimes, is beyond comprehension. In such cases, Love is usually the catalyst!


Here’s the message:
“Once I was willing to risk my life to do something special on this particular day. Today I wonder if it is just the date that changed or is it me! May be both... Probably I was good back then, evidently I am perfect now!


As this year ends and another year is set to start, open your heart and let love flow in. You need not hold on to anything… just love everything that you get to experience. May the New Year bring in new loves! 

Comments

  1. :) great post bud. merry christmas and a great new year ahead. hope u found love again :)

    ~rajashree

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  2. Merry Christmas to you too Rajashree
    I am always in love!

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. Nice one...keep writing na idiot!!!

    Btw...ye wali kaunsi thi...chat pe batana :P

    Shreyo

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  5. Thank you Shreyoshi.
    I try to write, but aaj kal hota nahi :)

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  6. To be honest, this blog post invokes Hope in me! :)

    A joyous read! :D

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  7. hahah ... hope keeps the world alive!
    Keep the hope alive Sahai :)

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  8. Absolutely loved your post Noyon da...:)

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  9. Thank you Pinjala :)
    Always good to get feedback. Especially when one writes after this long!

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  10. Hi. Good to know that you take your love life and strifes in your stride. But honestly do you think that you have moved on from your first? You update about your brk up day. You write a blog post on her. Even after 8 years. I mean why her? Why not about the rest? Think about it. :) btw there is a post on my blog called Some break up facts. Read it if you have time :p

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  11. MP
    you question is not a surprise. and also an indicator that you have not read my previous post ;)

    btw... brilliant way to promote your blog! :D

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  12. previous post? in fb? or in your blog?!!! i am now curious. :P

    As for my blog promotion , not as brilliant as you think, because I didn't come here early and missed everyone because almost all have read your post. Second blog promotion without a blog or post link is the dumbest thing someone can do :P you see, my theory is strong but i am hopeless in the practicals and hence keep on failing :P

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  13. blog :)
    And...late is better than never! :P

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  14. Hey The Stuff is KICK ASS

    Sameena

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  15. Yes... eight years back... i fell in love too... and scrapped my heart badly... and i knew like u tht 'the phase goes'(in most cases... and i was not among the minority)!

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  16. @Ashish .. i am glad!

    @Tania ... definitely not a minority!It's too general an affair :P

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  17. good one noyon....u know..i keep looking for ur blog updates....good goind dude. and yeah....may this year u geuinely find ur true and final love story. :-)

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  18. Thank you Sonia... for your comment and wishes :P "Final Love story" hmmmm

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  19. Great post.Thanks for sharing such a useful information with us.

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  20. A well written post..."is it the date thats changed or is it me'... Nice...glad growth n love has happened again n again...

    In tandem with what ur talking about...infatuation et al...elizabeth gilbert of d eay pray live fame has explicitly described the emotion in d book..check my blog ive put it up

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  21. A well written post..."is it the date thats changed or is it me'... Nice...glad growth n love has happened again n again...

    In tandem with what ur talking about...infatuation et al...elizabeth gilbert of d eay pray live fame has explicitly described the emotion in d book..check my blog ive put it up

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  22. Howdy! This article couldn't be written much better! Looking at this post reminds me of my previous roommate! He continually kept talking about this. I will forward this information to him. Pretty sure he'll have a good read.
    Thanks for sharing!

    My web-site ... best way to lose weight fast

    ReplyDelete

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