miss you dad
Never in my life did I feel so helpless... trapped i have felt but then i could also control things then and get out of traps... but this time it was pure helplessness...
a simple call can change your life to such extent... and it leaves with almost nothing at all... a person who has always advocated that you dont stress up with what might happen or has happened suddenly felt helpless...
6 years away from home... and suddenly i feel i have the mistake of my life by coming out of home... if i was there today... maybe i could have done something... at least i would have been there to take care of things when everyone was down... and now as a sit controlling myself i can't helpwonderin why did fate have to strike... why me.... why my father...
i and my father never really shared the closeness that i would have loved to... he was always closer to my sister... and i always thought he didnt really love me till i saw tears in his eyes when i left home for the first time... he could never show his love... but that was the way he was...
and this morning when i got the call from my sister... life almost took a reverse swing... i still wonder what struck... i am out of words... out ideas... from a secure morning when i was thinkinng about some new steps forward now i have turned into the most insecure wreck... all in a few hours time...
i am suddenly a man... and i am supposed to take care of my family... everyone says i got to be strong... so i shall be... but can i e ver hold it all like you did,.. climb up like you did... against all odds?
now i understand what i feel for you dad... you are the person i owe much of what i am... i always wanted to be like you i guess... and if today you read this from some star i just want to say you... i loved you, love you and will continue to love you....
if only i could get you back i would ensure i become what you wanted... even a computer engineer that you wanted me to become... but i know you things are impossible now... just wanted to say ... you were the best dad ever... miss you
Never in my life did I feel so helpless... trapped i have felt but then i could also control things then and get out of traps... but this time it was pure helplessness...
a simple call can change your life to such extent... and it leaves with almost nothing at all... a person who has always advocated that you dont stress up with what might happen or has happened suddenly felt helpless...
6 years away from home... and suddenly i feel i have the mistake of my life by coming out of home... if i was there today... maybe i could have done something... at least i would have been there to take care of things when everyone was down... and now as a sit controlling myself i can't helpwonderin why did fate have to strike... why me.... why my father...
i and my father never really shared the closeness that i would have loved to... he was always closer to my sister... and i always thought he didnt really love me till i saw tears in his eyes when i left home for the first time... he could never show his love... but that was the way he was...
and this morning when i got the call from my sister... life almost took a reverse swing... i still wonder what struck... i am out of words... out ideas... from a secure morning when i was thinkinng about some new steps forward now i have turned into the most insecure wreck... all in a few hours time...
i am suddenly a man... and i am supposed to take care of my family... everyone says i got to be strong... so i shall be... but can i e ver hold it all like you did,.. climb up like you did... against all odds?
now i understand what i feel for you dad... you are the person i owe much of what i am... i always wanted to be like you i guess... and if today you read this from some star i just want to say you... i loved you, love you and will continue to love you....
if only i could get you back i would ensure i become what you wanted... even a computer engineer that you wanted me to become... but i know you things are impossible now... just wanted to say ... you were the best dad ever... miss you
hey boy!! any word in this comment box would do injustice to your feelings! a little tear came outta me when i read this.. ki koriba.. jibon!
ReplyDeletehmm... this i wrote when i was waiting for my connecting flight to Guwahati.. at Dum Dum...
ReplyDeletei felt so helpless
http://freshinkblots.blogspot.com/2008/06/bye-bye.html ... You should read this one.. i wrote this one in a similar mental make up though under different circumstances as yours.. but ya the same connecting feeling, HUNG!
ReplyDeleteUr feelings and love for your dad brought tears to my eyes yaar. when i had left home for some personal reasons, my dad also had tears in his eyes. So ur words reminded of my not so good old days. May ur dad's soul rest in peace and my god bless u and ur family. Take care
ReplyDeleteThanks bro..
ReplyDeleteBubu....this one got tears in my eyes...
ReplyDelete