Waiting

I am about to explode. Life’s never been easy. But it seems to have got extremely irritating now. It almost feels like the cosiest bed yet too full of bed bugs to allow you to sleep. Count in rats too jumping all around. Yeah that’s what I feel right now.

Every time I watch a bad movie I feel so enthusiastic to make my own film which would be better that the morose that we have witnessed this long.

And then I get brain waves. Brilliant stories! The issue of course has been huge – I never had an ending to any film.

And for once, this time, I got a story. My story. Very own. And I could even see an end.

That’s when you start having problems. The problems of not being able to turn you dream in reality. Right now I am being torn apart by my own emotions and insecurities. May be I should go ahead and do things that I always wanted to. But then it leads to more immediate insecurities.

Result – effects work, mood swings... and what not! And people said I am mad. What can a person do when he has no option but rot in situations where you cannot help yourself.

Outburst in waiting!

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Why change?

Till yesterday i was wondering what love actually is... I mean... i have been in relationships... and uttered my share of 'I love you's ... but for some reason i still seem to wonder what is love actually...
and then i came across people who were apparently in love...
for some it's about having someone in their lives who they could get back to
for some it was more like life itself... i am not kidding... i have a friend who recently went through some rough patches in life and love. and he talked about committing suicide. yeah i told him i would slap him so hard that he would die anyway if he ever spoke about suicide again... but the point is that he did do that once... which makes me wonder what's love
and as i wander in wonder about the thunder called love... i understand that i cant understand love...
but yes i think realised that out of many things that love may bring to life... happyness is something it has to bring in... and if it does not what's the point...
but the point is... initially everything brings delight... and then the interest goes down... isn't that love for that particular moment? or it's not?
and once the interest is tossed out... is there any point calling love... grrr...
did i make any sense?? i bet i didn't... i never do... that's what she told me...
but what if i am happy being like this? is there a problem if i am mad.. and like being like this.. and yes i try not to hurt anyone...?
why change??

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